random offers to come fuck me
will not fix what i am feeling
I've been told to let it go, no more to be said, he said
he feels he said he felt, he didn't feel and he's just gone
yet i still fucking cry
because I still fucking feel
and its not fair that he got under my skin so
because it keeps me here, holding onto the pain
because its all I have left of him
and i have to just sit with it
until its evaporated from my pores, until its gone
its not fair that he got so far under my skin, so fast
but he did
Sunday, January 10, 2016
Friday, January 08, 2016
Lost
I wanted to dance
with you
I had so much more
more than fleeting
was the plan
but you left
and I dance alone
like a fucking weirdo
drinking the good wine
alone
slow
tearful moves
empty arms
I wonder
if you ever really wanted
me
around you
like I wanted you around me
Blind
And I look,
only to see you .
but I cant see you
I see you, but Its not the you
that belonged to me,
only fleetingly
its some other guy
someone else's guy
And I want to yell at him
tell at him
that I see him
that I want him
that I would have loved him, eventually
and that I'm sorry
that its not to be
but I want him to be
happy
even if its not with me
only to see you .
but I cant see you
I see you, but Its not the you
that belonged to me,
only fleetingly
its some other guy
someone else's guy
And I want to yell at him
tell at him
that I see him
that I want him
that I would have loved him, eventually
and that I'm sorry
that its not to be
but I want him to be
happy
even if its not with me
Wednesday, January 06, 2016
Out of the Blue
And like lightening
you struck me
tore me open
set me on fire
and as fast as you hit
you were gone
and I'm here
left
torn open,. and on fire
you struck me
tore me open
set me on fire
and as fast as you hit
you were gone
and I'm here
left
torn open,. and on fire
Gates and Doors and Hearts on floors
The key, to my house
sat snugly in my purse, burning a hole in the folds,
hot with promise, and fear.
as you burned your way in to me
fierce, steady heat
you cut through my layers like a hot knife through butter
never before has a touch been able to set me on fire so
and soothe me
I rose, and I fell, into you
I saw myself through your eyes, your words, your touch
and fell in love. with me.
i could no longer tell where i stopped and you started
i breathed you in, i fell, i fell, oh how I fell
but it felt
like flying
and i felt\
for the first time, that I was home, that you were home,. for me.
and whats mine, could have be ours
and that maybe, I could love again, and be loved in return
torn, tissue paper and dust, helpless beneath your fingertips
I gave it all over
but i misread,.. something
everything.
and just as you appeared, you were gone
and my flesh burns
hot with the ignition of your touch it smoulders still
but the key to my house still sits snugly in my purse,
now cold, bitter and hard with indifference and redundancy
sat snugly in my purse, burning a hole in the folds,
hot with promise, and fear.
as you burned your way in to me
fierce, steady heat
you cut through my layers like a hot knife through butter
never before has a touch been able to set me on fire so
and soothe me
I rose, and I fell, into you
I saw myself through your eyes, your words, your touch
and fell in love. with me.
i could no longer tell where i stopped and you started
i breathed you in, i fell, i fell, oh how I fell
but it felt
like flying
and i felt\
for the first time, that I was home, that you were home,. for me.
and whats mine, could have be ours
and that maybe, I could love again, and be loved in return
torn, tissue paper and dust, helpless beneath your fingertips
I gave it all over
but i misread,.. something
everything.
and just as you appeared, you were gone
and my flesh burns
hot with the ignition of your touch it smoulders still
but the key to my house still sits snugly in my purse,
now cold, bitter and hard with indifference and redundancy
The Return
yada yada did something stupid here i am . need somewhere to post shit to alleviate the need to vent, without the angst and crap that comes from doing it on facebook. lets do these questions again so i don't have to think
a list of random questions with off the top of my head answers. like 6 years later.
1. I've come to realize that my last kiss was ages ago the best kiss. the best. ever.
2. I am listening toThe stupidly loud air conditoner that is pretending its a heater Spotify Shazam playlist
3. I talka lot of crap to try to get people to understand me
4. I am dating no one a bottle of gin
5. My best friend(s) are a long way away all over the place and i love them
6. My car isa piece of shit lilac and still going
7. I hate it when peopleask most things get stuck under my skin
8. Love is likeoxygen oxygen
9. Marriage is something other people do sigh
10. Somewhere, someone is thinkingthat things will never get better hopefully lotsd of people are thinking
11. I'm always wishing i was asleep that i knew what i wanted
12. I have a secret crush onNoel Fielding no one at the moment firmly ensconced in recovering from my last one
13. My mobile phone Is fixed. Yay ! old
14. When I wake up in the morning Iwish it wasnt morning am going to go straight back to sleep
15.Before I go to bed at night I tidy up wash my feet
16. Right now I am thinking abouthow much my head hurts Matt
17. Babies areteenagers in disguise often ugly but sometimes cute and good for snuggles
18. I get on MySpace tosee what Megan has written my space ? lol. ok to be honest i was there yesterday stalking
19. Today I finallygot the address changed in my licence 2.5 years after i moved. admitted defeat
20. Tonight I willdrink more red wine and take a super duper painkiler tonight as in now or like later after much sleep? right now its gin and painkillers. later it will probably be be red wine and painkillers
21. Tomorrow I willprobably have a hangover probably ? lol ... imma write this whole fucking week off.
22. I really wantthat painkiller, and some cuddles Matt
23. Someone that will most likely repost this isno one Me
24. How many girlfriends/ boyfriends have told you they loved you?i dont fuckin know and meant it ? maybe 3
25. Have you ever thought you would marry someone?yeah Yep. He died
26. Are you crushing on someone?no crushing ? no . wissing the complete and absolute shit out of ? yes
27.Have you ever liked someone so much that it hurt?I walked into a sign after I first kissed a boyfriend once. that hurt. yep
28. Have you ever made a boyfriend or girlfriend mad?repeatedly not recently
29. Are you happier single or in a relationship?depends on the relationship im happiest in a good relationship
30. Have you ever told someone you loved them and didn't mean it? No never ever no way. who does that ? Have I meant it when i shouldnt have ? probably
31. Have you ever had your heart broken?yes its heldp together with spit and rubber bands at the moment.
32. Have you ever broken somebody's heart?i think yes never intentionally. i think the yongsters call it "friend zoned" now.
33. Think any of your ex's feel the same?as what ? if they did the ones that count would be here.
12. Do you believe that you are a good boyfriend or girlfriend?definately I respond very well to being treated well
13. Have you dated people who were not good to you?often fuck yes , what a moron
15. Have you dated someone older than you? if by dated you mean fucked, yes. same same
16. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?everyone ? no most everyones. but i am too fucking nice
17, Do you believe in love at first sight?love no lust yes I bekleive you can recognise potential for love yes.
18. Do you want to get married?not for the sake of it but yeah i suppose yes only if i find the love i know is possible
19. Does heart break really feel as bad as its said to be?yes worse. much much worse
20. Would you believe your ex if she/he said they still love you?yes but it would annoy me he never said it but if he came back id let him, eventually
21. Would you date your best male/female friend?if by date you mean fuck ? ...... probably if i havent already fucked them its a no
22. Have any of your ex's called you by a nickname after the breakup?yeah. no that 'd be me the dipshit.
23. Do you regret any of your relationships?only the length of time it took me to learn what i had to learn from them and thats it. fuck the more things change hey ? good news is the time im taking to learn lessons is getting, shorter.
I'm back Bitchezzz
a list of random questions with off the top of my head answers. like 6 years later.
1. I've come to realize that my last kiss was
2. I am listening to
3. I talk
4. I am dating
5. My best friend(s) are
6. My car is
7. I hate it when people
8. Love is like
9. Marriage is
10. Somewhere, someone is thinking
11. I'm always wishing
12. I have a secret crush on
13. My mobile phone Is
14. When I wake up in the morning I
15.Before I go to bed at night I
16. Right now I am thinking about
17. Babies are
18. I get on MySpace to
19. Today I finally
20. Tonight I will
21. Tomorrow I will
22. I really want
23. Someone that will most likely repost this is
24. How many girlfriends/ boyfriends have told you they loved you?
25. Have you ever thought you would marry someone?
26. Are you crushing on someone?
27.Have you ever liked someone so much that it hurt?
28. Have you ever made a boyfriend or girlfriend mad?
29. Are you happier single or in a relationship?
30. Have you ever told someone you loved them and didn't mean it?
31. Have you ever had your heart broken?
32. Have you ever broken somebody's heart?
33. Think any of your ex's feel the same?
12. Do you believe that you are a good boyfriend or girlfriend?
13. Have you dated people who were not good to you?
15. Have you dated someone older than you?
16. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
17, Do you believe in love at first sight?
18. Do you want to get married?
19. Does heart break really feel as bad as its said to be?
20. Would you believe your ex if she/he said they still love you?
21. Would you date your best male/female friend?
22. Have any of your ex's called you by a nickname after the breakup?
23. Do you regret any of your relationships?
I'm back Bitchezzz
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Monday, July 09, 2007
a list of random questions with off the top of my head answers. 1. I've come to realize that my last kiss was ages ago 2. I am listening to The stupidly loud air conditoner that is pretending its a heater 3. I talk a lot of crap 4. I am dating no one 5. My best friend(s) are a long way away 6. My car is a piece of shit 7. I hate it when people ask most things 8. Love is like oxygen 9. Marriage is something other people do 10. Somewhere, someone is thinking that things will never get better 11. I'm always wishing i was asleep 12. I have a secret crush on Noel Fielding 13. My mobile phone Is fixed. Yay ! 14. When I wake up in the morning I wish it wasnt morning 15.Before I go to bed at night I tidy up 16. Right now I am thinking about how much my head hurts 17. Babies are teenagers in disguise 18. I get on MySpace to see what Megan has written 19. Today I finally got the address changed in my licence 2.5 years after i moved. 20. Tonight I will drink more red wine and take a super duper painkiler 21. Tomorrow I will probably have a hangover 22. I really want that painkiller, and some cuddles 23. Someone that will most likely repost this is no one 24. How many girlfriends/ boyfriends have told you they loved you? i dont fuckin know 25. Have you ever thought you would marry someone? yeah 26. Are you crushing on someone? no 27.Have you ever liked someone so much that it hurt? I walked into a sign after I first kissed a boyfriend once. that hurt. 28. Have you ever made a boyfriend or girlfriend mad? repeatedly 29. Are you happier single or in a relationship? depends on th relationship 30. Have you ever told someone you loved them and didn't mean it? No 31. Have you ever had your heart broken? yes 32. Have you ever broken somebody's heart? i thinkyes 33. Think any of your ex's feel the same? as what ? 12. Do you believe that you are a good boyfriend or girlfriend? definately 13. Have you dated people who were not good to you? often 15. Have you dated someone older than you? if by dated you mean fucked, yes. 16. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? everyone ? no 17, Do you believe in love at first sight? love no lust yes 18. Do you want to get married? not for the sake of it but yeah i suppose yes 19. Does heart break really feel as bad as its said to be? yes 20. Would you believe your ex if she/he said they still love you? yes but it would annoy me 21. Would you date your best male/female friend? if by date you mean fuck ? ...... probably 22. Have any of your ex's called you by a nickname after the breakup? yeah. 23. Do you regret any of your relationships? only the length of time it took me to learn what i had to learn from them and thats it. I have lots of online friends. unfortunately only about one of them reads this blog and the rest of them are not allowed to read this blog because most of them are actually real life friends as well and only suspect my sordid past. I also havent really held back on any opinions and disclosures and I never really wanted to share this ID with my family but I have also posted bugger all as a result so I am moving, To somewhere my brother can visit. damn idiot wont let me anonymous post on his blog and theres no way I'm leading him back here! I have important things to say to him like, damn Jason you gone ruined my anonymous blogging life. Anyhow, I digress. This is my last no holds barred post that I am going to make here. the rest of them will be found here Thanks to My American myspace friend for giving me a last post idea. Love You all. all one of you :) this email will still work and i may still come post every now and the if (when) i do something stupid :) xxx
Monday, June 11, 2007
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
Lets not pussyfoot around
Ladies and gentlemen, I bring you .... The Pussyfoot
" It is the perfect combination of foot and vagina. "
The perfect addition to those who already own the penis knee and the breast eyebrow.
I'm sure theres much cleverer stuff to say about this here but buggered if i know what it is.
FG
" It is the perfect combination of foot and vagina. "
The perfect addition to those who already own the penis knee and the breast eyebrow.
I'm sure theres much cleverer stuff to say about this here but buggered if i know what it is.
FG
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