Get over it already

random offers to come fuck me
will not fix what i am feeling
I've been told to let it go, no more to be said, he said
he feels he said he felt, he didn't feel and he's just gone
yet i still fucking cry
because I still fucking feel
and its not fair that he got under my skin so
because it keeps me here, holding onto the pain
because its all I have left of him
and i have to just sit with it
until its evaporated from my pores, until its gone
its not fair that he got so far under my skin, so fast
but he did

Lost

I wanted to dance

with you 

I had so much more

more than fleeting

was the plan

but you left

and I dance alone

like a fucking weirdo

drinking the good wine 

alone

slow

tearful moves

empty arms

I wonder

if you ever really wanted

me 

around you

like I wanted you around me

Blind

And I look,
only to see you .
but I cant see you
I see you, but Its not the you
that belonged to me,
only fleetingly
its some other guy
someone else's guy
And I want to yell at him
tell at him
that I see him
that I want him
that I would have loved him, eventually
and that I'm sorry
that its not to be
but I want him to be
happy
even if its not with me

Out of the Blue

And like lightening
you struck me
tore me open
set me on fire
and as fast as you hit
you were gone
and I'm here
left
torn open,. and on fire

Gates and Doors and Hearts on floors

The key, to my house
sat snugly in my purse, burning a hole in the folds,
hot with promise, and fear.
as you burned your way in to me
fierce, steady heat
you cut through my layers like a hot knife through butter
never before has a touch been able to set me on fire so
and soothe me
I rose, and I fell, into you
I saw myself through your eyes, your words, your touch
and fell in love. with me.
i could no longer tell where i stopped and you started
i breathed you in, i fell, i fell, oh how I fell
but it felt
like flying
and i felt\
for the first time, that I was home, that you were home,. for me.
and whats mine, could have be ours
and that maybe, I could love again, and be loved in return
torn, tissue paper and dust, helpless beneath your fingertips
I gave it all over
but i misread,.. something
everything.
and just as you appeared, you were gone
and my flesh burns
hot with the ignition of your touch it smoulders still
but the key to my house still sits snugly in my purse,
now cold, bitter and hard with indifference and redundancy